This very day...

I always thought that no matter what, you would not leave me.

I was wrong.

I have failed you, or rather, failed in doing so. You left me without a single doubt. There was no turning back for this step. All efforts of mine has gone to drain.

What can i further expect from you any more? Nothing...

From this very moment, i woke up. The chilly winds and the sadden atmosphere was unbearable. Yet, i realise it juz felt like ytd when i asked you. How much does everything mean to you? compared to last year?

Last year, we tried so hard for each other. I had study to take care of, you had ur parents. This year was slightly worse off for you... n for me? loss of time. Yet.. everything juz didn't had a meaning anymore.

The leaves i took for you are still existing, it's juz the 1 to fulfill them are no longer existing. I really do not know how to face you any more. If i were to say it, i would not want to see you any more. My heart had juz shattered completely...

I could not stop to tink abt us.. but not any more. I juz need somewhere to retreat. While you? i will send you a ipod, something that i intended to get you for quite awhile, ever since your ipod spoilt. I will try to refrain from invoking my previous memories.

From today on, no 1 is to mention 'joanne' or anything regards to you anymore. I will seal this still existing fact into my deepest chamber of my heart, banishing it forever.I doubt you'll return, there is no point to tink of everything that i've done for you. Everything i've done for you, i will not question, think or even know of from today on. I can no longer continue with my everyday though, i will for quite a break. Yet i can't....in NS.

I hate you for making such a hasty retreat. Why juz you can't pour more thoughts into tinking abt us?
Fuck it, like you even cared.
Yea, you did. But did it really mattered to you? No, none at all, i could not even get you back.

I'm reallly at a lost. I juz dunno how to carry on from here. It's all full of emptiness. No wonder it could affect me so much. "normal friends' are juz rubbish.....

Sianx. Dad came back, no mood to practise piano at all. Juz feel like falling into a deep sleep and waking up when everything's over. I really need to leng jing myself...
it's back to the old me...

sobx.
i miss you in fact...
='( yet u muz do this to me...