Finally.. I thot it was going to die =.-

Somehow, this page sorta got stuck with de new internet, didn't inticipate it. Well, nevermin, it seems like i have 10 mins. Initially i wanted to complete blogging by 11.15.

I reached home back from studying at 10.45 like that. Settled down with bathing by 11.10 n had this thing on. Seems like it took like quite some while to refresh this thing. =.-



Hais yo!!!...

Let's better get to the main point bahs.



Muz b wondering why m i blogging. LOLS. Instead of studying. Sorta becoz of GP paper also lahs. On top of that, i was kinda trying to move some thoughts out of my head. I know hardly anyon would be reading anyways, but i guess it's like a vault.

Lazy to pick up my pen to write down everything, something that i tink that it's really v. not worth it. I could type more than i can write instead. So, quite some stuff happened all this while, if i were to say long also not very long,short also not very short bahs. It's juz like everything's flowing into place at this time. What can i say? Reminise ? Perharps, alittle n maybe juz quite a lot for some other things.



Was chatting with jimmy these few days, somehow i was down with flu n spending worthless time on the computer. Maybe not worthless, was juz trying to get my flu to settle down. I was down with flu n a red eye. Initially my flu wasn't that bad, but it was juz that air con in the hall was far too cold. I wasn't the only one ending up ahchoo n ahcoo... Meanwhile, realised my gal is special. She always has been.. i nv denied the fact that she's not =) Only then i realise i'm quite a fortunate man sometimes. Maybe i dun win in what i percieved as "fame" but initally, other things. Though i still fear of losing you, but inevitably, you should know i'm no good man sometimes. I m still of course, inferior to him. No doubt, the only time it'll make a difference is when i'm gone but i don't wan to.. I tink i may never by 1st in your heart, but nevertheless, if i try, i might =)

But it i don't, please dun blame me. I juz want you to be happy always, always & always...



Perharps you can say is exam stress. I simply juz refuse to believe it again. I got it ! sianx. Couldn't sleep for the GP paper. I still have quite alot of papers to go you know. Zzz its juz hard to believe it. Dun feel really v. good sometimes, stressful bahs. I missed alot of things.. you..piano..band & much more. Dunno how to say it bahs, juz feel like the whole weight of books. Maybe all the while i've realised after all thi fighting, i've not enjoyed it. But, i juz tell myself to fight on. Juz a painful choice taken by me bahs. I feel myself abit stupid, i'm complaining here n the next minute motivating myself. Perharps due to my strong will bahs. Dunno, maybe alot of things juz dun match me sometimes. hahax.. m i saying i'm a freak? Faints*



Keep forgetting the points i wish to write... Juz random bahs..Maybe that's y i say memory space lack due to this, will juz sorta forget n recall again. It's very unbecoming of me!! that's not suppose to be the case. It's 12 ler, i shall juz say abit more. Changing the songs i wish to hear online here n there. I tink i'm facing this stress more becoz i'm not listening to music. Things have really really really been quite dumb. =.- maybe it's juz things tat shd have changed or i meant concidentally.

Started off with my phone dying..It juz like died. There goes my source of music, reminders n stuff. Okie, i got everything going on with my life once again with my mother's phone. Was juz thankful i got a phone. =X But at the same time.. my mother's phone really CMI. No bluetooth, infared.. nothing, even sms comes with a limit. The only person that can use it so pro-ly so far is xin. Xin told me his phone is also like that, but he tinks is fine. I guess he finds comfort in sleeping & jac is more free. LoLs.. to comfort him n so on. Next on? The ligh that illuminated my world was plurge with heavy darkness that my heart shattered so badly. I couldn't even really manage to move my soul abit. To me, it was such a heavy blow. I was juz so lost. I told myself, this is a goner. It feels like a thousand sword has pierced my heavy heart, n i was forcefield. Neither myself could take in command of my heart or soul; they're both as dead stiff... My mind was juz vaguely doing things which made life possible, eating, drinking, sitting.. while i was juz there... Life less. It takes time to repair a heart, no doubt.. this time it didn't take long. I believe from the pressure of studies. I could only afford to rest for 1 day.

However, i did realise, repairing with such intensity makes it weak, which is now why i could only tell that i'm juz feeling abit bad still. Afterall, i juz dunno how to explain this. Juz maybe fear about him. Ever since that blow, it seems like it was juz a weak point. I seemed to have others too. So, juz fear of losing you once more but i have confidence in you greatly =) Becoz you're the one whom i loved,i like & i adore very much <3.
Please understand, i'm sorry i can't be present by your side now. Words i convey can be only through written or non verbal forms. Wished to tell you things from my mouth personally, but guess you dun have de time sometimes..
Wished very much n dearly to see you.
Wished that time would be later, so that i could have more hours for you.
Wished that everyday everytime you'll be okie n fine, happy & smiling.
N wished that you greatly would not miss me, becoz i dun wan you to worry.
My poor concerns, makes me a v. bad person rite? Wished so many things but nv do? zZz...

Missed maple & piano. Labellavita lost it's life force. I know after potato left, lotsa of things quietened. it's juz not working. I dun see anything in it now. It's becoz, during char's presence, i see that fiona n char work together to get things done. At least, we have mature people running around, instead of messing with chidlish things. Furthermore, they hestitated no time to commit themselves to leveling the highest, which i'm very proud of them, the reason why i choose to stay inside till now. Yet, now we left with much less than 1xx people, with the no. of 1xx going up ( but not from our guild ), conflict arises n it's juz hard to tell. We'r losing cosmos n much DKs.. i really dunno how to start this all over again. Where was icybao(12x mage last year ) Zap ( 1xx priest last year ) gone? My old guild mates are certainly gone, but enjoyed the guild outings so much. That taught my what real guildship is like, what guildship is. To guard our interests together, fight & settle for a common goal.
What more can i say about them? I feel like leaving & come back only when needed. Like that i find myself hypocritical. How about poor justin then? Feels like he's de only Dk left, he can't run things coz he's in NS. Dear me N BY, if u'r reading this, hope u understand why. If u dun, ask me. LOLs, maybe you dun feel like that, but you shd know, how hard potato fought all this while, forum n all. That somehow, shinndollz, ONLYDEX all that were from LBV.

Took up piano in Primary6. Stopped during sec 2 fer a period of 9 months. Grade 3 in Sec 3, Grade 5 in JC2, now grade 7. Had 2 teachers, my previous one had an accident n couldn't teach. Darling, i missed him somehow, do you? Had the same teacher as you =) Then mdm Chong took me after that. Learnt from her this year that one muz have chemistry. Was wondering, i muz have gave her quite alot of headache yet she still puts up with me. =X I'm abit ashamed of myself. Shd have spent more time practising piano sometimes. But, given my status, i realise why i neglected piano.
1) It's in de living room, i could only use during fixed hours.
2) My hectic shedule.
JC1 was such a mess, come JC2 i was more problematic. Though i took an piano exam during J2. LOls. Furthermore, Sec 3 was my grade 3 exam. It was v.hard to take an exam during Sec 4. Shd have taken grade 5 in JC1 though. Recounting back my steps, seems like i'm still quite noob. =.- Techniques n others sux. Persuading mummy to move the piano so that i could spend more time with it, n take away more of my thoughts. Find it better to have them typed here. =X

Dunno how to convert "misses", tink if i were to write out, it'll cover like 10 posts?
I miss joanne
I miss joanne
i miss joanne
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I guess i've run out of time. Good nitex.
Miss you Very muchy.
Trying to fight off it in my heart =)
( Juz day dreaming of you with ur only gift to me )
what a very long entry.. GOod luck to everyone for tml.