I will use purple ice once it's ready..
I know that everything else seems so blur..
I haven't blog for so long..
But.. everything in my world now had stopped.
however, with VKM.. ( veron & kok Ming)
it seems like me had stopped instead.

Hais, rice never tasted that plain, chicken cutlet never tasted tat awful before..
Even the bread that appeals most didn't even look tasty..
I've lost my appetite.. i could only finished less than half of my lunch.
After that, i juz placed the whole packet of rice on the table.
I feel horrible. I juz can't eat..

I felt full after eating a waffle for snack before dinner. If mummy didn't cooked dinner, i would be so satisfied already. It's juz she prepared and i looked at the rice which i used to eat, i told her half. There was a urge to eat, but no strength.
Li bu chong xin.
Everything about me has stopped. My strong institution has failed me. It has never failed me, maybe except in love. N that i never could predict anything wrongly unless it was fated. =X
Hais.. how ? Veron stared into blank space while waiting for Kok Ming to finished. Suddenly, my mind sparked. Veron seems.. to be tinking of something.
=.- Wrong, she's juz bored ! kaos.. i couldn't believe it..

My eyes tire dam easily. I realise this 2 days i've been fighting to hold tears back.. I could not help blinking n blinking..

My mind could not help wonder what's going to happen then. You really hurt me so much.
I thot i could juz depended on my soul. But soul + heart = Everything.

I let out roars of anguish upon everything.
I let my soul dragged my heavy body out to school.
Everything needed some kind of force, that comes from my soul..
I dunno how long can my soul take it.. for it has never really been like that.
Anguish is my moving force, it's on hatred/ anger.
Yet.. it won't last long.. One knows that i dun hate nor get anger easily.
I know my world has stopped.
Soon it will engulf in flames.. admist it, the darkness will swallow it.
Pls save me.. i tink i know i can't do it alone..
whatever it is.. you will know.. when i call upon you...

you sista.. try to help her. I know it'll be hard to help both of us again. sorry...

Let everything unfold.
At least, it's clearer tis way.
Know that i won't blame you.
I juz blame myself, for being so foolish and so dumb.
I'll never forgive myself for all de hurt/pain and whatever that i gave you which made you uncomfortable.
Sorry for everything.
I'm really sorry.. i know saying anything wouldn't juz help..
Pls take care k?
Hais.. i know tis words will never reach her.
Yet i've been repeating them. sobx.
She knows, but it's juz not right to let her forgive me for tis.

I m so dumb.. i m so stupid