Tired & Exhuasted.

Like the previous entry.. It's 2am in the morning?

I seriously dun like to face the music now. How much more? It's already 8 months into the army. I juz can't stand it. I'm not irresponsible or what, but is this the way?

Maybe this is the darkest moments of my life.. but i always know, there is light too. The problem lies partly with me, i gues i irritated Chief, but all these while, it's been like? But i'm seriously glad that somehow.. with James say. Life does have an unexpected turn out.

I too explained to him, these kind of things are hard to tell do sometimes. Well, i guess everyone has their own way of getting things done. It's hard to throw in why people choose to rub salt on wounds.. Pheng Hui and I have gone a long way, seriously, i really dun wan you to leave. After my bd, as well as ur leaving, it takes a dam big toll on me. Maybe Mummy foretold this, she said i will have some sort of jie (disaster) to overcome. Dunno if it's this 1 or not, no wonder she's been telling me to not do anything stupid if shd anything happens. Tell her too, if anything is so sad.

Ya, everyone's been telling me to stop worrying. I find it hard lahs, i'm like so caught between. 1 minute this is that, another minute that is that. Virgos are resistant to changes, but in my CCA days and stuff liddat, i haven't had this problem. I guess things change. Remembering the clashes in my band days, who really has a quiet life? But trouble dun come single handed. My birthday has juz passed and this is happening, i really dunno what to expect next.

As October, which i termed as the month of death, i dunno why, maybe Halloween makes me feel that way, it is a sad month. Maybe i'm in for more of these? If life was simply juz between a do and a don't, there won't be worries in this world. Friday taught me that, everyone sorta differs time to time. Arjuna, u had Luke. Luke, vice versa. Me? I got no 1.

That is why i'm still on you... i was hoping you had something more to comfort me in. I wished you could wait for me everyday and juz sit the bus back, making me smile, laugh and feel better loads. Life is like going back there and getting scolded each time for an human error. We all are humans, but yet, the way you eliminate emotions makes me feel like a perfect failure. Okie, i shdn't say further, scoldings didn't get that worse before in my life. I guess everythings have first time.

Same for you bahs. You suddenly turned so cold on last friday. Juz like the weather, looking at Ck going back, looking at how everything went that day, i looked like i was heading for disaster. I feel so re strained becoz i dun like to type on this labby and that i m lazy too. Is juz, since it's bad already, why am i still blogging in down? 8 months have passed for Ns. 6 yrs since you left too.. bin mei. 24 + 31 + 27 days.. since u left.. that's 86 days. =(

It has been 21+365+178 days with you = 564 days.. n today, 28 Sep 2008 is my 565th day with you ever since i known you on 10 Dec 2006.

Haix, i'm only asking the impossible. That's is y i shouldn't let u read all this. How m i to face u, if what u'r reading is hurting you? Can u tell me? Do u tink i can bear.. to let u read entirely my thoughts and watching u cry?
If u didn't infer that question.. the answer juz means.. all these aren't enough to make u cry.. didn't i say stop saying about all this and stop being a cry baby for me.. so, u juz know it isn't everything.

i'm Sorry =( i didn't mean to.

If what i'm telling you is hurting u, juz becoz u dun have a choice.. i told u. I dun wan to.

I dun wan to bear seeing u cry over something u aren't responsible or have no choice for.

Pls dun waste the precious tears on a worthless and useless guy who is lazy and only know how to wishy washy things... =( dun.. cry.

Hope u enjoy your work tomorrow.

Love_Always
Vammie

Swt drmx to me.
Jia you Vammie. No matter how dark the clouds are, the sun will always come out.
No matter what happens, i won't say die. Becoz.. i'm a vampire.
That is how i survived e sec 2 ordeal.
After all, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. This is life.