It's 2am in the morning.

I tink I muz be in those emo mood again.

Juz finished dota, that's the only reason why i'm awake at such hours sometimes.

It always has to do with the computer =P

So much has happened since the last post in June. Grandpa has passed away. I still haven't finished the note which I wanted to post on Facebook. Dad was all over emotional about it, perhaps the most jialat part was that my grandma had blood dialysis till 4+ before she could see him.. downstairs.

As she couldn't walk, everyone supported her to the coffin. It was just so >___< Death sorta 'visited' me in a way when I was small. Somehow, I pondered what if my whole family had sorta perished, leaving me alone? I felt sorrowful, grief and cried. It was like a total nightmare. That woke me up and realise things abit. Abit coz you were still young back then, what do you know of in this matured world.

Then I understood. The passing of some1 with the aftermath. It's not the immediate thing that hurts, but the aftermath. Grief, sorrow and pain. They look like hand in hand buddies. Then, more people are paying attention into this as the recent wife who jumped to her death following her husband's footstep, who died on the wedding day. It was quite tragic. But that was the wedding vow.. "Till death deals us apart"

>___< U muz b tinking, something to do wif her. Yahs. Nv imagined that I'd told her and she came. Proves that the heartless side of her is there. Not abt love, just friends. N was that wad I supposed? Nope, thus I've decided. Her life & death has nothing to do wif me. But well.. as I've always say, dun bother.. dun care... if she has a hard time and seeks me. I will help, but not in her straight face.

She ought to grow up, though I believe she never will. Let's just stop at this.

On the other hand, I just accidentally sent a email dtd wrongly >__< I must be dreaming badly somehow. Or just plain tired. Somehow.. reality and fantasy.
I better go sleep, going swimming with xin tomorrow @ 9 liddat? Gosh.

It's 2.30am now. If I dun catch some sleep, I'm gonna b a zombie tml =X