Somewhere over the rainbow

Something's wrong with me today.
I tink it's anxiety aka worried aka emo.

Day II of the recess week.

I only brushed up the recent few lessons on IBM. Other than that, haven't done anything productive except reading Bleach Manga and thrashing Starcraft II Hard computer difficulty. Lolx.

I realised, could it be that I was just running away?

This part below sounds dumb and contradictorily.. but well:

I would never want to break another girl's heart just to forget her. Though the healing is such a pain and seem to take forever.. but, I really dunno sometimes. It's just wrong to find some1 now.

Isn't that why I came up with taking Xin & Jacq's 1st kid as a god son? =X hahax, sometimes thinking, how nice it would be if Sm's kid was a girl, then it would probably make us all family (:

Destined to stay single? I know single life isn't for me. Getting affected by all the couples around. I really need some1 to take care of me.

Coz I know, I can't take care of myself sometimes, maybe all the time. Heh.

So, is it running away by simply saying I can't forget her? Or am I just hoping for her to come back?

Perharps it's just lost while I ponder over the single/attached issue, and fall into the "come back" aka emo abyss. How naive I can be sometimes. But it's painful to convince myself that she aren't coming back, especially, when it just amplify in me.

"Heart is something that once stolen, cannot be returned just like that, because you can never return a broken heart." Quote from Yue Guang Bao He (Just another Pandora's Box).

Am I just hoping to wait for her to drop from the sky? Or am I stubbornly refusing to accept fate's test of patience.

In any case, brushing love aside, appears that band is taking a toll with all the happenings. But I guess it's the least affecting, maybe perharps just the worrying part, other than that, I'm perfectly fine.

Who am I bluffing right! After crapping so much 'sense'. Figured out that probably if I wrote them down, it could just take 1 hour. Haven't organise any proper thoughts in my head yet.. feeling so useless somehow. I should just go sleep right. Zzzz

Somehow, I aren't suppose to cry anymore about her. It's just nostalgic, but these sentiments are just rubbish. Hais, gotta move on andy. Stop raining.. at least I know it last rained during my birthday only.

Good Nightx

For a better tomorrow~