"I have died everydayWaiting for youDarlin' don't be afraid, I have loved you for a Thousand years"
I got a wake up call, though I don't even understand how it came about.
Or rather, I was proven wrong. It appeared that there was higher purpose to be done manning proper installations and constructions to bring about changes and things for the better, instead of whining all around here. Wrong that I was waiting? Was I even waiting? Probably I was, I never convinced myself that I was. I was just shoving around but it's also a part of waiting. FOR FUCK RIGHT.
Past few days have been in clashes. While I struggled upon teacher's sms reminding me, it's bad for health, I was also guided upon the deepest thoughts of management which I've pondered on.
I've been running away from the issue itself. Or rather, becoz there was no resolve.. how to face it? It's not something like you can prepare and run and fight it any time like a monster or boss? It's just terrible.. Apparently, me taking so much time to realise it is kinda >< 
Hais, so I just shove it aside, applying painkillers when the pain came. Were there even painkillers? Hoping that the wound will heal by itself. YEA RIGHT. I must be downright dumb and stupid, apparently I was. This has to end. Words can't describe it but we were all young once and perharps never know how to deal with this kind of things.
After Teacher sms, I realise it's 'time'. Though I've been fighting through these years, somehow, I've been losing. Yet, this time, it's different. Yes, I did feel like tearing very much. I did feel like thrashing the next bugger next to me on the bus which was fucking smelly. 
"What's the whole point of everything then?"
Eventually, whatever that is kept is useless and she won't be back. She's not coming. NOT FUCKING COMING BACK YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND? EVEN IF SHE DID, WHATEVER YOU KEEP, NOTHING WILL COME OUT OF IT.
Just burn and blaze. Lay waste to all the memories. I don't have anything to keep anyway & of course, when that dies, the love in me dies. It'll probably be better to stay single?
Unless I meet the one. How ah? =( I dunno. Can some1 please tell me where's a tall average looking girl with a good personality is for sale? I know she's priceless, but I'm willing to protect her till the end.