Suddenly, today i wasn't that worried about tomorrow.
Is it because suddenly i have found a reason to live?
I really dunno. I sorta figured out this is call " yi du gong du"
I know i'm lost in my life, under the section of love, the entire destroyed sector is dragging the heart down, leading entirely the soul power to run.
But soul no soul, it has never affected my work. The work limit has increased significantly, sometimes i juz wonder, is it that i have nothing to worry about and that is why i'm so worried about work instead?
Which i 100% confirm myself, you are not the factor which affects me for AFI.
I shall not talk about work itself, i know what i have to face. On top of that, the challenge becomes evident. I shall juz brave through it.
Meanwhile, Zq suddenly said to me and Joanne to be successors of moulmein. I know you'll read this entry. Seriously, i have no reaction to this. I know you are not prepared. N it's with me. How cool is that? No way isn't it?
I could not dare to bear the thought of it. I really dunno what your decision will be. Furthermore, we quarrel, ever since that incident happened. If you realise, before that, we haven't been. I m dumb and childish, but.. why?
N.. directly after ytd, i said something about band. Yet, here today.. you are then faced with the decision which will change your life. We are 19 years old. We aren't kiddos anymore. We aren't a batch of kids chosen by teachers to fulfill what they want us to. That's the difference here u c? The impact we make is now, on the members itself..
Previously, CCA teachers will choose promising students to try fulfil objectives for the school. Who doesn't or who won't? Admist all this, i've gone through worse than you've imagined. This is to explain the point whereby you say i'm happy but i'm not.
New Town bearly beared about 10 seniors, my batch. Even for graduation. Sadly.. the big band of 70+ members died to less than 30 members. We were like 3 times less than the original band. Somehow, i couldn't really answer the seniors if you ask me. The major was chosen by them, not the teachers. ( Whichever the case is, whoever chose doesn't really matter right?)
SR.. the legacy left behind by ZQ. The band barely left 20 members too. I watched it grow from that number to a strength we can fight and compete with the other jcs in SYF, squashed in between SAJC and TJC. SAJC, the best band and TJC, the 3rd best band of the previous competition. I, the solo ist, the sole personnel who will decide what medal. I play an important role. I never once want to tell myself, i will fail or that i'm still new. So, today.. SR is different so much. =) I'm really proud of you juniors who make it a different place, espiecially those who take after us. And for the band jacket, i know you all like to keep it as a memo. Thank you very much.
Such things happen. I know, it's like a miracle. Mr Tan hugged me when we returned from SYF, his first sentence was " we did it". A section i raised from clarinetist, flutist. It's all like a dream now. It's a past success, which made me never to forget, the worstest storm will pass. You know why, it was basically on chinese new year eve (if i'm not wrong) the last day for registration for SYF, Ms Yeo came over and found me, telling me of " A Longford Legend". Mr Tan was prepared. He was betting his saxophone section. Even if it's not on me, he betting on something which was quite a risk. And we believed him, never once we did not. Even if it was " A Festive Overture"
Time is running against me. It's always at the dead time of the night where by tomorrow closes in and at the moment where the day will slip by, where the second hand countdowns to midnight, i find myself having that stress of work again. Even though, i m more confident of what's happening tomorrow again. You make me less stress.. with the fact you told me " since she's picking on you, definitely it's a process you muz go through".
Sista suddenly like abit emo when she came back? Exhuasted? I really dunno. It's 11 le, it's time for me to sleep. Haix.. i really dunno what happened. Will life change over night again?
Andy.. learn to accept things that are not in my way. Then.. know that changes aren't suppose to be a difference to anything. In fact, it's life. Dumb Vammie. >.<
Meow. Piano wo~~
Dun worry okaes Joanne?
I know you'll b here.
Tomorrow will be better.
As always =)
Love, Vammie
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