E last day of March

Wanted to blog this down last night, but I was too busy I guess.

On top of that, I'm re adjusting my sleeping hours. I MUST NOT DO stupid things like surf facebook for useless stuff again =_______-

Oh, it's turning 1. Let me finish what I wanted to say.

1) Today - Clementi Mall, Black Berry Torch, 2 phones and my priorities - Love & Life

2) Her, my dream, 28 Mar 2011.

Today had to go to school for E-revision. Kinda sian.. Woke up at 10+ despite sleeping 30 mins earlier, I guess I ought to learn to retrace my sleeping hours, meaning try to tell myself to keep to a certain amount of hours. Oh well, had lunch, went back my chambers and watched some videos on Function. Surprisingly I found the show I've watched and always wanted to watch again: It's "Qiu Jiu Shang Shang Zhe". Dunno why I watched it, but I'll summerized it after I'll watch it again. My wife is a gangster 3 is nice, just that well, the plot is kinda predictable.

Suppose to meet Fq @ 4.30pm today, but he was late again. It was 6pm when he came. I was browsing through Clementi Mall, the new mall. I didn't notice the MRT had a link to it. So, to kill time, I went into the mall and discovered that, Level 2 is out of bounds (dunno why, no escalators leading to it) and that Level 5 is undeveloped yet. Probably what's missing of this mall to complete it is just a cinema. Hahax, Comics Connection is there, so glad that this "hang out" place of mine since secondary school has been improved. Though boys seldom use malls, but nevertheless, it'll save us effort to go Jurong Point to walk walk.. either for CC or just plain walk walk. There got a Mini Toons too. I'd never stepped into a shop since with her.. & I didn't. Probably, it'll be long before I ever buy a soft toy for someone else again. =X

Awww, enough of her. I stepped into the Singtel shop, stopped to see if there's news of Galaxy S II or something liddat, so I chanced upon the Galaxy Ace and Black berry phones. I seriously wanted to get a Black Berry Torch xia~ Somehow, this is the first smart phone that I saw and so call 'fell in love' with it. It's nice.. coz it's a slide phone with a keyboard inside. I know slide phones sometimes have their bad points... budden, it really catches my eye!!! Then I was thinking to have 2 phones, 1 to have unlimited SMS and the other.. working phone lo? Anyways, uncle's paying for my samsung.. but seriously, I will have to pay quite a lot for the blackberry and it would become like a privilege instead of a need. Hmmm... then I was strolling around the mall till he came and then we had Long John Silvers, tempt myself with a clam clowder~ nice~

& off to school. Let's skip the school part... so back home. Tinking about it, I guess I really got to walk and get myself some $ to make my life more happening. If not it's always, just taxi, cab and I have to tink of a way to refinance myself. It gets irritating =X That finance part long should have been of my concern, but I guess I was too dumb to realise it. Now having known that, I probably should take up a job that allows me to study at the same time.

I know, no matter if I started working years back or was in a poly, my life won't change. Maybe just not as chairman, I will still be involved in band. Saying that, it probably means, my busy enough life will leave Love out. & probably commitment of a MMORPG will just be thrown out as I make space for piano back into my life. I need to regen my music cells back again, I've just been stagnant. 

Anyways, what probably matters was Vquartz. My eye candy in school's attached. Somehow, Bro FQ tells me good girls are always taken. Hahax, sadly yes, she is rather attractive and tall. Just how many talls girls are there? Yet, I told Vquartz about it, just out of the blue, then she encouraged me to go after her. It feels dumb to want to tell her that she was the initial eye candy and she was the one whom I had feelings on, and not fitting the entire scale of my ideal girl. I gave up. Not decided today, but the day since I've discovered that she was 1 year older, I crushed my own hopes.

It wasn't as bad but as previous entries wrote..

It was like a sitting next to you, to realise, actually you're like million miles away,& I was like a complete fool.

There's no chemistry between us. No matter how I try to connect into your world, either you're busy or you can't be bothered? =X I don't even think it'll work out.. so maybe EREV with you was a bad choice, but I won't regret it, as a friend though (:

The amount of Vquartz probably was just a tip of an iceberg compared to this matter of her:

Strangely, I told Fq on 29 Mar, I feel so much better after a hug. (not wif him of cos) " but it was just so warmth, so nice and so healing. It was another reason to know I healed, because I didn't anticipate it, but it seemed to lift the spell."

Spell lifted or has it really did? She appeared in my dreams that night.. it was really strange, she was skating in a mall with her friends. It looked entirely like Hollow Bastion setting (Kingdom Hearts) but it was a mall.. (as u know dreams are strange) and she saw me. & I saw her. She just zoomed past then, signal her friends to go. As my 'take' usually, she walked back and screamed my name. I stopped, but continued to walk after a short pause. Then she said, "Ni zhen de mei you hua gen wo jiang?" I stunned before she took my arm and dragged me to some place. I couldn't remember where but right after that I know both of us had a long chat.. I didn't hug or kiss her, but she told me she missed me alot. & I woke up after that.

Evaluation: I'm not treating this dream as real, but it's strange that she appeared that's all. As my dream doctor previously mentioned, dreams are manifest of our conscious, meaning that her appearance was a conscious thought? I thought I agreed that her spell was lifted? I know, it's impossible for us to be friends, it's my fault. Neither can both of us be together again, that's for you. I at some point, knew I was dreaming, but I choose to continue it.. maybe I just wanna know what she says. Lastly, thinking back, that phase, she said it once before. It suddenly aches me. But nevermind, nothing aches me more than that sorry you said.

It's just a dream, but I do miss you. I just hope you're fine. Really fine. Because you always fall sick and the weather isn't that good lately.

& strangely, Pet suddenly changed font and used the exact same fonts as her.. =X I got a shock. There's more than 10 fonts to be used.. Xia shi ren...

I'm off to bed. April's coming~ 

SIANS. Because May is next and I have to spend 2 miserable months in retreat coz of the exams.

=X Nights.